Where God is Taking Me Next

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.

If you’ve read my last post, or any others I shared before, what I like to call my “silent years,” you’ve probably noticed I’ve written a lot about my health, faith, and the things God has taught me along the way. None of that is new.

It’s just that now I’m finding the courage to share what those silent years have taught me. Because not only have I been busy with work, I have been incredibly busy with growth and healing on a whole new level. Here I thought 10 years ago I hit my peak for growth. (ha!) 

In 2014, God placed something so deeply on my heart that it moved me to make a change. And that was the start of changing the direction of my life. I didn’t understand it, it wasn’t the industry I was in or anywhere close to it. But it was clear! And it wasn't a question, it was a statement of purpose, what I will do on behalf of Him. I couldn’t ignore it.

That season led me to leave a stable career as a single mom of two, with a mortgage and no other income to depend on. Crazy I know! But is it? I stepped out with faith, and here we are today. The journey has stretched me in ways I never could have imagined.

Looking back now, I realize God was and has been building me for his Kingdom work.

For the last 27 years, I’ve had the privilege of leading people. I’ve led teams in banking, retail, and restaurants. I’ve coached managers, trained business owners, and invested in hundreds of employees over the years. Leadership has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.

Watching someone discover confidence they didn’t know they had, watching people grow into leaders themselves, helping someone believe in themselves before they believed in themselves…Yeah, those moments never get old. 

If you’ve ever worked with me, you might also know that I have high standards. I’ve thought a lot about that over the years and I’ve realized it isn’t because I expect perfection. It’s because I see potential and I care so deeply for others. I want others to feel special and seen. Sometimes I probably see more in people than they see in themselves.

I genuinely believe people can grow, I’ve also learned something that has been much harder for me to accept. No matter how deeply you invest in someone, no matter how much you encourage them, coach them, pray for them, support them, or believe in them, they still have to choose growth for themselves. And that takes work, on both sides.

For a long time, I think I carried the weight of wanting it more than they did with certain people. Investing more of my time than I probably should have. That has been one of the hardest (and greatest) lessons of my leadership journey. Because if I’m going to lead someone, I don’t do it halfway. I give my whole heart, my time, my energy and all. 

I’ve celebrated promotions, weddings and new careers. I’ve cried with people through heartbreak, tragedies and loss. I’ve prayed with employees. I’ve walked through mental health, family struggles, financial hardships, and dreams with teammates.

Leadership does not end when the day is over. It followed me home more times than I can count. The weight of difficult decisions I knew I was going to have to make, hoping someone would choose growth instead, praying for people, wondering if I handled a conversation the right way….those things can be heavy at times. 

People have always mattered more to me than the job.

And lately, God has been leading me toward something different. As He continues to heal and shape me, I can see that He is also preparing me for whatever comes next. Through my own personal growth journey, I understand that healing isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, spiritual and mental. It’s learning to let God reshape the places we’ve hidden, protected, or carried for years. The things that make our bodies sick, our minds lost and our hearts ache. 

I’m still walking that journey myself. I’ve had fear about sharing my journey, fearful of unintentionally hurting others. I still have so much to learn, and that's exciting to me. 

I still fail. I still have moments where God lovingly shows me areas that need a good fixin. I willingly (and not so willingly) accept. Because one thing I’ve always been committed to is becoming the person God has called me to be. Not perfect, just faith and obedience. 

And maybe that’s why I keep coming back to writing. It’s where my heart is drawn. I don’t know what I will do with this but for now I am sharing it here with you. 

He’s confirmed it in ways only He could. I’ve ignored it at times because life was busy, businesses needed me, and people needed me. But the nudge has never gone away.

If anything, it’s grown stronger as I continue to heal and grow. 

I'm not walking away from leadership. I think God is leading me into another way of loving people. I don't think my leadership was ever meant to stay within four walls.

There have been so many times over the years when I thought, "Oh... maybe this is what He was talking about." Then another season would come, and I'd realize there were still parts I couldn't see yet. Every time I think I've figured it out, He reminds me there's still more to learn, more to grow, and another step to take.

I still don't know exactly what comes next, but I'm okay with that. I've (patiently, not so patiently) come to learn He doesn't always show us the whole picture. We just have to trust and take the next step. So…here I am, doing just that.

I'm going to keep writing.

I'm going to keep sharing what God is teaching me. I'll keep growing and healing along the way. Because if there's one thing He's taught me through leadership, business ownership, heartbreak, healing, and every season in between, it’s that there is always hope.

And if something I write helps one person find hope, find courage, or even better, find Jesus... then maybe this was what He was talking about all along.